I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
