So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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