I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
