please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
