One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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