He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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