dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
