i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
