Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
