whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
