its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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