i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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