soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
