i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
