is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
