I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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