so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
