i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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