ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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