this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
