you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize