you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
