If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
