Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
