Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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