I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
