just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize
