yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize