he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
