I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
