I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
