You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
