Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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