They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
