Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
