well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
