did you get engaged???
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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