We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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