if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
