The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
