I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
