I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
