he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
