I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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