I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
