is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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