i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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