Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
