we have officially lost it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Life is so much better after having sex.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My vagina is officially offended.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize