Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
