and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
