Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
