Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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