it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
