HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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