She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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