just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
not ubering you a puppy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
