i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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