You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
