Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
