btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was born a porn star she said
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
