I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
