so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Small penises have feelings too.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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