biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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